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After that, have a phone conversation—trade cell phone numbers, never home numbers.Or better yet, call him so that you won't have to give out your number at all."The amount of times that people are approached when they have photos is multitudes more than when they don't," says Gian Gonzaga, Ph D, e Harmony's senior director of research and development and head of e Harmony Labs. Leave behind group shots, which can make it confusing for other people to identify you, advises Spira, and choose a headshot in which you are smiling.

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So, assume that your interest hasn't had time to open your message."It gives a richer picture of who you are," he adds.According to Spira, the tone should be uplifting and happy. "The problem is that because you don't hear people's voices, it's hard to tell if they're being sarcastic or being rude." If you write something and are afraid that it might be taken the wrong way, it's probably best not to post it.3.The lesson: Spend time on your profile, and don't stress too much about your first e-mail! Be Direct When it comes to virtual dating, forget playing "hard to get." If someone you're interested in contacts you, it won't pay off to "casually" wait a few days to reply."If you play games and wait to get back to him, he may have already run off into the sunset with someone else," says Spira.

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